The time has come, once again for all of us to fill out that stupid Census form that the U.S. Department of Commerce pressures us all to fill out each year. I received mine in the mail last week and it's been sitting, wrinkled inside my work bag waiting to be completed. Today, I pulled it out and forced myself to rip it open and get the damn thing over with! The forms are pretty short and require very little effort to fill out. I mean, it's not like taking your SAT's!
First sentence "Use a blue or black pen." Ok...got it! Next sentence, "Start here"...no shit! I read on "Before you answer Question 1, count the people living in this house/apartment." Well that shouldn't be too difficult...one, two! THE END!
Ok...onto Question #1
"How many people were living or staying in this house/apartment on April 1, 2010?"
:-| I look at my calendar...Yes, it is still March. I re-read the question with emphasis:
"How many people WERE living or staying in this house/apartment ON April 1, 2010?"
I am NOT falling for this April fools prank!! NO WAY!!!!
So I turn to my co-workers for their insight and ask them, "Did you fill out the Census 2010 yet?" they both answer yes. I ask, "What's today's date?" They confirm it is indeed March 24th, 2010. I go back to the Census and read the question one more time...baring in mind that a Census that was supposed to be easier than the SAT is now turning out more difficult than the Barr Exam!
Ok...one more time:
"How many people were living or staying in this house/apartment on April 1, 2010?"
Hang on while I get my crystal ball...aw fuck it! I write down "2."
Question #2
"Were there any ADDITIONAL people staying here April 1, 2010 that you DID NOT INCLUDE in Question 1?"
I guess once wasn't bad enough! They had to ask it again in case you suddenly reproduced while you were reading the question! And even if by some miracle I HAD reproduced, it would STILL BE MARCH!
Question #3, "Is this house or apartment..." then it asks me to 'mark one box' but every multiple choice answer is phrased like a question...For example, "Rented?" Ok, so they want me to select an answer that is posed like a question. Now who is going to answer the question???
Question #4, they want my phone number. Let's see...900-FUC-KOFF.
Question #5, "provide info on each person living here." GEEZ they're nosey!
Question #6, "What is Person 1's sex?" Answer: "All the time."
Question #7, "What is person's age and what is person's date of birth?"
So they can't just ask for the date of birth? Because believe it or not, my age is going to change, but my date of birth will always remain the same...Maybe they are testing to see if I'm going to lie about my age and are comparing it to what I write for my date of birth.
Question #8, "Is Person of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin?"
If I answer yes, do I win something?
Question #9, "What is person's race?"
I don't know about you, but I HATE this question?? When are we going to stop putting so much emphasis on what color our skin is?? If we were all blind, it wouldn't matter, now would it. Just for that, I'm writing "PURPLE!" Then I can claim that I am being discriminated against because I am the smallest minority in the country. "I AM PURPLE DAMMIT!!! HIRE ME!!"
Question #10, "Does person sometimes live or stay somewhere else?"
Does that person live??? I sure as hell hope so! It's ME we're talking about?
Do I STAY somewhere else? If you believe someone who spends 30% of their lives at work stays "somewhere else" then yeah, I guess I do!! Is this a trick question?
I'm finished....now I can mail this useless tree destroying scrap of crap back to where it came from!
No comments:
Post a Comment