I must have been adopted!!!!

by AuburnVixen

My mother and I had a very rocky relationship while I was growing up. We tend to have different opinions on a lot of matters...she loves politics, while the mere mention of the word annoys the hell out of me...she loves to shop til she drops, while I only set foot in stores when I absolutely have to...even her taste in clothes is very different from mine. But she was and still is an extremely caring and loving mom who would do anything for her kids and I love her for it!

As I mentioned already, there are times when we do not see eye-to-eye. And when that happens, she handles the situation much differently than I wish she would...Thus, getting a rise out of me, increasing my blood pressure, and pretty much ruining my mood for the entire day! Today was one of those days.

I'm getting married, as you probably already guessed from my earlier post, and my mom and I have been talking pretty much on a daily basis. We've been getting along really well in comparison to other not-so-pleasant historical moments we have shared.

This morning I called her to give her a cheerful hello and provide her with the latest updates in my wedding planners task list (it's actually more of a "mental" list as opposed to an actual hand-written list). First I shared with her the details of our trip to Home Depot to look at refrigerators. I told her we picked our favorite and that we hope to clarify the "no payments for 2 years" offer my mother received because the store claims that no such offer exists. That conversation went fine.

I then changed the subject and told her we also stopped at a bridal shop...Bare in mind, I had already felt confident that the colors I would use would be gold and black. For months, I did not waiver from that decision at all...until last night when I discovered the shade of gold that I was looking for was near impossible to find in a dress and that it was just going to cause me an aggravation. I'm all about NOT aggravating myself and making this engagement a pleasant, joyful experience the whole way through. I will NOT fall into that trap that many other engaged couples fall into, which ends up being a huge reason why so many people elope! What I mean is, I refuse to be a fiance from hell and freak out and overreact about an event that is going to last ONLY ONE FRIGGIN DAY!!! Sure, I want it to be special, but for Christ's sake, it's already special because I met the man of my dreams! That goes beyond special...It belongs in the category of MIRACLES!

So we walk into the store and I see a very pretty dress in a very pretty shade of green (I think they called it "sage") and I say to P. that we don't HAVE to use Gold..nothing's set in stone..is he ok with that? he says "yes honey!"..isn't he the best!?!

We meet up with a girl that works there and she walks us around, showing us all the styles and colors they have. And to my surprise, not only did they not carry the shade of gold I wanted, they didn't carry gold AT ALL!! My only alternative in that color family was canary yellow! (MischieviousAngel is my maid of honor...She later thanked me for not choosing a color that would make her look like a character from Sesame Street!) So canary yellow was off the list of options! But as we looked through the dresses, my eyes were drawn to this gorgeous shade of green (not the sage one). They called it "fern!" Ah fern! How pretty a name, as well as a color! So I was convinced, THAT was the color I wanted.

So back to my mother. When I told her, in a cheerful voice, that I decided to change the color, and explained my very rational reasons why (i.e. the gold is too hard to find; I really loved that green; I don't want to see people have to spend a lot of money for a dress and the green was on sale), her tone changed and all I got was a very dull "oh..what eva!" Uh oh! I know that tone...something was wrong...my mother was annoyed with me...that's NEVER a good thing and I braced for impact! I said, "What's wrong?" and the words that came out of her mouth only triggered that same reaction I felt in my gutt many many times over the years. She said, "Well I just don't like seeing you influenced by other people and changing your mind because of what other people want!!!" .....huh?....Did I just enter the Twilight Zone??? Are we both talking about the same thing and did she even listen to me? So, just like in those other historical events when she pushed my buttons, I snapped and vented and felt extremely aggravated and insulted! Somehow, I managed to clear things up when I said "I chose that color because I liked it MORE!" and she suddenly reverted back to sane and happily said, "OH! OK!...so back to the refrigerator...which one did you like?" I said, "We really liked the GE model."
She said, "GE!?!?! Do NOT BUY GE!!! They are HORRIBLE and unreliable..Choose a different brand!!"
'Nuff said!!