I Am No Bridezilla, But It's Tempting!

by AuburnVixen

I've come to realize that finding a wedding dress is as difficult as finding a house! For every 50 you see, 49 of them are junk and the one you love is too expensive!
Over the weekend, my mother and I ventured out to shop for my wedding dress. My mom is a lot of fun to take along because she LOVES to shop and loves clothes equally as much!
I looked online and found 3 places to visit that day. The first one we went to was a small place with big dressing rooms. Small selection, but not bad. Prices were ok.
I didn't see anything that really impressed me, but tried on a bunch anyway.
The woman running the shop, who I will call "C" was the only one there that day.

When we first arrived, C asked me what I was looking for. I told her my style and fabric preferences and also clearly stated I did not want ivory (my Catholic mother has already voiced her opinion on this, but she doesn't quite grasp the fact that virgin brides only exist in fairy tales!). I ended up trying some ivory dresses on anyway just to see how the style looked on me.
During the visit and dress changing period, C would pop her head into the dressing room every once in a while to see how we were doing and also to try and talk us into liking everything I tried on. I just LOVE THAT!

C had given me these boob fillers that she called "chicken cutlets." The chicken cutlets came in handy, giving my lack of cleavage a little hope. C and my mother stepped out of the room, and I proceeded to try on the next dress. Pretty dress, but my tits were literally floating in the cups like two queen olives in a martini!
so when the woman and my mom came back into the room, I said, "I love this dress, but the chicken cutlets were useless...I'm gonna need the whole chicken!"
After C stopped laughing and left the room, I moved onto the next dress, which was ivory..very pretty though! C came back into the room as I was trying to take it off and she said, "What's wrong with that one?" I said to the woman, "This one's nice, but it's ivory...I don't want ivory." and she said, "That's not really ivory...you are just deceived by the lighting in this room....come with me!!!" and she proceeds to yank me out of the dressing room, and shove me out the front door onto the sidewalk of a busy street and says, "SEE! It's not ivory!!" My first response would have been, "If it's ivory inside, it's ivory outside, unless you are selling some new dye that changes white in the sun!" but instead, I decided to maintain what was left of my dignity and just go with, "I don't like it!"

The second store we went to was yet another hole in the wall shop, but it was much worse. The dresses were all ripped, dirty, and overpriced. I tried on only a couple...the woman working there had no sense of humor, which was noted by my mom when I made an awesome joke and the woman didn't laugh.
We did not stay long at this shop, but on a good note, I did get admired through the window when a couple was passing by and stared at how pretty I looked in the dress I didn't want!!

The last shop stop was a little further away to get to, about 1/2 hour drive. I plugged the address into the GPS and about 30 minutes later, GPS Denise is saying, "Please stay to the left" which we did, and "You have reached your destination!" which was actually the highway with cement walls on either side of us. Luckily for us, I saw the store and was able to turn around and get to it, but I really wanted to smash Denise in the face and say, "It was a RIGHT, you stupid bitch!! NOT a LEFT!!" Who programs those things?? Men without maps??

Anyway, to finish my story, we drive into the parking lot, which is insanely busy and difficult to find a spot. Then I see a group of people (yes, I said GROUP) walking to their mini-van, so I pull up close to it, turn on my blinker and wait for them to leave...and I wait...and wait. After losing my patience, I gave up and found another spot while mumbling under my breath that we were late for our appointment because this family truly believes "Eight really isn't enough!" As my mom and I walked passed Octomom and her 10 other relatives, the driver was finally backing out of her spot, stopped halfway and got out of the car. All I could do was shake my head. Just another day surrounded by idiots! And oh look! They all ride together! Where is the uni-bomber when you need him?

The third bridal shop was fun! We plan to go back when it's less busy. Still have not found my dress though, but I'll keep looking. The search for the dress (AND the house) continues...